Above original 3D GIF created in Cinema 4D by Thoth
I feel so disturbed and I don’t have any idea what to do about it. Could be tiredness. Both of us are wasted beyond measure. Three huge shows, a formidable week, and an even more formidable weekend to cap it. We could barely go to sleep – if I could call it that. Rolling. Turning. Mind replaying everything!
My mind is playing tricks on me. I feel like I let people down in so many ways. I don’t know where my critical mind has eructated from. I feel so uncomfortable. I hate it!
Did we perform well this weekend? Yes. Did we have a great time? Yes. Did we increase our wealth? Yes. So why the long face and horrified perspective. I feel as if I got hit by a bus. I feel let down in some way. I feel . . . bad! No explanation.
I slept terribly too. Maybe that is the problem. Tiredness. Maybe dehydration. Perhaps I’ll take a long bath? Long! I am loving drinking hot water.
As I am up longer, the feeling is evaporating, but . . . damn!
Honestly, I feel as if someone dosed me a speed drug. And now I’m getting over the hangover. Is that possible? I am so uncomfortable in mind and body.
We killed it last night in El Sobrante and the night before in Fort Bragg and the night before in San Francisco . . . Do we not do that? God, I love performing! Yet I still have this horrified feeling. It hovers around my brain like swirling fog.
Last night: Did I say strange things? Did I embarrass myself? Us? What is going on?