Category Archives: General

Hudo Ti

“Jesus” is a swear word. It is a majorly disturbing sound to my musical and sensitive ears. Whenever I hear the word, someone is upset with something. Stub your toe? Jesus! Someone cuts you off on the freeway? Jesus! Your significant other does something stupid? Jesus! I do it too! I’ve been trying to stop but it works too well.
The reason “Jesus” is perfect as a curse word is because of it’s sibilant sound, two of them in fact. And if you exaggerate them a lot, you sound like you’re hissing. Try it!
Most of you are quite aware (or maybe you’re not) that a hissing sound is attributed to all animals and beings who are upset with something. Before a fight two cats hiss. A snake about to strike hisses. Even machines hiss if they are failing mechanically.
In the old testament, Satan in the shape of a snake tempts Eve, causing she and Adam to be thrown out of Eden. Did the snake say Jesus when offering the apple for consumption? Probably.
When I speak of the mystical philosopher of spirituality and natural science who lived 2 millennia ago, I call him Yeshua. Now that I can truly sing.

Hudo Tu

Spinning by Dan Rubin, NYC

Spinning by Dan Rubin, NYC

The more purified our spirits, the more we see the bad behavior surrounding us.

I use my delusions to continue perfecting myself, while many use their delusions to undermine others and profit.

Hudo An

Totally racked with fear these days. Now I realize that getting older is all about becoming more and more scared. Clearly unhealthy bodies and increased fear/stress is why heart attacks abound in people my age. But I am protected by  prayformance which keeps me healthy and undermines the stress and fears.


When the veil of my artistic delusions breaks down under the pressure of the sales pitch for your reality (which is pushed in my face daily and especially at Christmas) – advertisements, promotions, awards, degrees, acclaim, et al., I get depressed and sad. But only for a relatively short moment. Eventually I surge back with stronger, more resilient, and more resistant walls to protect my delusions. Is it me against society? Yes. Do I have any allies? Few. Do I regret this path? I frequently ask this of myself. Am I sincere when I say “Never!”?

Endo Hu

Photograph by Dan Rubin (Tribal Baroque's official photographer), NYC

Photograph by Dan Rubin (Tribal Baroque’s official photographer), NYC

Every once in awhile someone asks me for advice about being an artist and living a life of creativity (not any more, but in the past). I have no advice. Being an artist (I can truly say this now that I have lived a life of unflagging creativity for over 60 years), I do things my way – stubbornly. But I am barely sane in relation to this society. To this society I am a sissy, retard, mutt. However, over the last few days, months and years, I realize that I do one thing that a lot of unsuccessful wannabe artists don’t do. I am committed to living in my dreams and delusions fully. I reject reality totally (save for death) and even death I have built a delusion around: “Dying well.” So to be a successful artist, one must erect delusions about oneself and one’s art and maintain them against the forces of reality. And don’t let anyone convince you otherwise – that you are unimportant and your art won’t change the world (which will be whispered in your ear at every opportunity by seeming friends, family, politicians, television, radio, Facebook . .  . Refuse to listen to anyone who tries to enlighten you about truth and reality, tries to “fix” your perspective. Avoid all popular “art”. The reason that it was pushed into prominence will undermine your motivation and melt down your delusions like a flame beneath wax.

The secret to being a great artist is directly related to the ability to master and sustain one’s delusions and dreams.