Expressive Thoth by Dan Rubin, NYC

Mocking

I passed you the other day, and you sang at me (notice how I say “at” rather than “to” – romantic, or “for” – humble) . . . you sang at me in an out-of-tune falsetto. Were you auditioning for me? If yes, it was horrible. So what were you doing? Mocking? Mocking me? Of course you were. You think that if you expel air from your larynx in that inefficient and horribly unpleasant way, you can humiliate me into stopping my “weird” countertenor singing? Sorry! Never! Better people than you have tried (including my own mother), and none have succeeded.

Let me ask you a question: How could you – a loser, a scummy drug dealer who spends most of his time standing in the square hounding tourists to sell them cocaine or second grade weed – ever have the hubris to mock a person like me – a person devoted to service rather than parasitical greed, whose merchandise uplifts rather than addicts, whose talent has been practiced for twice if not three times your lifespan, whose . . .

A few people would contend that you are envious. However, I don’t believe that you are intelligent enough to be envious. You lack the acumen even to recognize how much skill and imagination it requires to do what I do. No you’re not envious, you’re just a bully, trying to control me because my mode of expression makes you uncomfortable.

You may be surprised to learn how unoriginal your mocking is. So many people have behaved towards me like you did. So many! Additionally, I would say that in general the most talentless imbeciles, lazy idiots, and inconsequential losers choose to mock people. My nature has always been too complex for this dual world. I have been mocked throughout my life, almost from the moment I was born – by everyone.

But look where it has gotten you, all you mockers. Nowhere! You continue to sell drugs in the square or die of overdose or murder or work in a dead-end job, or worse. And while I continue being creative, doing what I do, growing and becoming more and more expressive, you – steeped in anger, hatred, and envy – waste your life away doing nothing at all except trying to injure more creative and intelligent people than you.

But you know the difference between you and me: I have compassion for you. I really want you to do better. I am rooting for you to do better. You can begin by recognizing how terrible your dead-end life is and seeking a path to your creative self.

Making Money

Thoth speaks of the difference between “making money” and “money coming to you.”

You love money. Everyone does. I love money too, but not like you. Money comes to me through doing something I adore – my bliss. Whereas you make money doing work you hate or dislike. In fact, if you could make the same amount of money a different way, you would stop doing what you are doing instantly. I will never stop. I don’t want to stop, even at death. No retirement. Retirement is for moneymakers. I am not a moneymaker.

I would also say that we speak of money differently. You say: “I make money.” I say: “Money comes to me.” Your way is much more invasive, violent, coercive whereas mine is gentle, peaceful, graceful, full of magic. In addition I would say that by making money, you injure others –  animals,  the environment, even the very people to whom you sell your merchandise, since subliminally knitted into the structure of your moneymaking scheme is a greedy malicious intent. Many of you even try to undermine the efforts of others – who may be creating a better product and with a kinder intent than you – to get money; you mislead us about your merchandise through pushing pompous advertisement and lies on us. I do none of that. I just give of myself from my deepest heart. And without asking or demanding anything of you, your heart, moved, plucks out a pound or euro or dollar to recompense me for that evanescent chord of emotion between us that honors our telepathic connection.

You ask, “How can I be more blissful?” I say, “Stop profiting from the misery of others. Be humble. Be honest. Devotionally seek out who you truly are. And by seeking, you will perforce find your bliss.”

A New Beginning

Thoth explains his new attitude towards his blog.

I feel like I’ve finally solved the conundrum of what to use this blog “Thoth’s Thohts” for. Being slow, unlike you with your speed-writing, speed-reading, speed-learning . . . I take a long time to figure things out.

It’s the voice, Stupid.

I wish I knew as a teenager that taking a long time did not mean I was less intelligent, just thorough. But I didn’t because of our high-speed school system, which teaches and tests according to speed rather than depth. So instead, I was saddled with a lot of insecurities about my learning process.

To continue: previously I was writing a faux private journal to which I offered you a view – as a kind of voyeur – to my thoughts. However, now I will speak directly to you, all of you, whether you care or not. Being way past my youth and having lived as an outlaw for most of my life, I feel that my observations about you and this world of false laws you support, either submissively or actively, have density and truth. I believe this because I am not invested as you are in this system.

In conclusion, let me say it again: before, I wrote about me for you, now I write about you for me. Somewhat of an ironic twist, isn’t it?

Failures

We are failures. This is difficult and painful for me to admit, but it is true. Yet, in spite of this, we continue. We are stubborn. In our place, most of you would stop and do something else – perform Beyoncé or Rhianna or Kanyé covers or be a DJ or get a job in some computer firm or something like that.
Instead, we continue to perform our music in spite of its inability to interest you.
Many of our friends and fans are no longer friends and fans, some are even enemies. They’re tired of us, of our art, of our failure.
Every day we have to watch a woman who used to embrace us with comments like: “You two are angels!”; “I love your music! It is so beautiful!”; avoid us by walking on the other side of the street, without even saying hello. What happened? This kind of behavior doesn’t happen only here in Portugal. It happens everywhere – Amsterdam, NYC, San Diego, San Francisco . . . What did we do to you that has caused you who once loved us to hate us, to be so angry, so disrespectful, so dismissive of us? I think it is because we are failures. Nobody wants to be associated with failures.

Hudo Ti

“Jesus” is a swear word. It is a majorly disturbing sound to my musical and sensitive ears. Whenever I hear the word, someone is upset with something. Stub your toe? Jesus! Someone cuts you off on the freeway? Jesus! Your significant other does something stupid? Jesus! I do it too! I’ve been trying to stop but it works too well.
The reason “Jesus” is perfect as a curse word is because of it’s sibilant sound, two of them in fact. And if you exaggerate them a lot, you sound like you’re hissing. Try it!
Most of you are quite aware (or maybe you’re not) that a hissing sound is attributed to all animals and beings who are upset with something. Before a fight two cats hiss. A snake about to strike hisses. Even machines hiss if they are failing mechanically.
In the old testament, Satan in the shape of a snake tempts Eve, causing she and Adam to be thrown out of Eden. Did the snake say Jesus when offering the apple for consumption? Probably.
When I speak of the mystical philosopher of spirituality and natural science who lived 2 millennia ago, I call him Yeshua. Now that I can truly sing.